REVIEW: ‘Piranha 3D’

Director:
Alexandre Aja
Cast:
Steven McQueen
Ving Rhames
Elisabeth Shue
Christopher Lloyd
Jerry O’Connell
Eli Roth
Rated: R

Bring on the campiness!

The film is about, you guessed it, piranhas killing people, exactly as advertised, but let’s get into the ‘plot.’ The film takes place in a small lake town in Arizona. It’s spring time and the lake is a huge attraction to college kids out on their break.

With all this going on, we enter our lead, Jake (McQueen) who is by the lake admiring everything going on and ends up meeting a beautiful woman named Danni (Kelly Brooks). After this happening he find’s out she is a model for a ‘Girl’s Gone Wild’ like photographer named Derrick (O’Connell) who after some talking gets Jake to take them out on the lake for a photo shoot.

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REVIEW: ‘Resident Evil Afterlife’

Director:
Paul W.S. Anderson
Cast:
Milla Jovovich
Ali Larter
Kim Coates
Wentworth Miller
Shawn Roberts
Spencer Locke
Rated: R

The franchise keeps spinning on its downward spiral.

Once again Milla Jovovich returns as the character Alice, and in case you forgot what happened in the past three movies, Alice does the same narration she did in the previous two films. It starts off in Tokyo, with the evil Umbrella Corporation held up in a base underground.

However, it is soon invaded by Alice and her clones who now have super powers after experiments done in the previous film. This cliffhanger plot point of the third movie is immediately done away with, though, as Alice looses all of the clones in an explosion and her powers through some plot device.

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REVIEW: ‘The Expendables’

Director:
Sylvester Stallone
Cast:
Sylvester Stallone
Jason Statham
Jet Li
Dolph Lundgren
Eric Roberts
Randy Couture
Steve Austin
Rated: R

There are many movies that build a ton of hype for themselves, yet few can live up to it. The Expendables is a movie where it doesn’t just live up to the hype, but exceeds it.

The film follows a mercenary team called the Expendables, which is lead by Barney Ross (Stallone). Things get started during a mission on a ship where it shows just how skilled this team is.

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REVIEW: ‘Knight and Day’

Director:
James Mangold
Cast:
Tom Cruise
Cameron Diaz
Peter Sarsgaard
Jordi Mollà
Rated: PG-13

The film follows the character June (Diaz), who’s on her way to her sister’s wedding. As she is about to board her flight, she has a run in with a man by the name of Roy (Cruise), who appears to be a regular guy, but as the flight takes off we find out that he’s actually a secret agent.

After a series of events, Roy becomes a target of government agencies and subsequently, June becomes one, too, leading the pair on an adventure to discover the real villain of the movie.

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REVIEW: ‘Salt’

Director:
Phillip Noyce
Cast:
Angelina Jolie
Liev Schreiber
Chiwetel Ejiofor
Daniel Olbrychski
Rated: PG-13
Trailer

Well Angelina Jolie is back with a film just a bit less stupid then Wanted.

In the film, Jolie plays the character Evelyn Salt. A CIA officer whose life seems to be working out just fine. That is until the agency captures a Russian who says he has important information. Evelyn is sent to interrogate the man and after a short while she concludes that he is no threat. However, he soon informs Salt that she is actually a Russian spy who will killed the Russian president.

After finding this out the CIA and the rest of the government agencies are now after Salt, who is in turn trying to clear her name. But as the film goes on we find the story go deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole.

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REVIEW: ‘Inception’

Director:
Christopher Nolan
Cast:
Leonardo DiCaprio
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Ellen Page
Tom Hardy
Ken Watanabe
Dileep Rao
Cillian Murphy
Rated: PG-13

In the film DiCaprio is a character named Cobb, a man who has unique technology to enter into the dreams of other people. Along for these missions in other people’s minds is Arthur (Gordon-Levitt), Cobb’s right-hand man. Because of his extreme job, though, Cobb is unable to return to his family.

He gets a chance to go back home, though, when a job opportunity opens up. The only issue is that this mission is the hardest one he’s ever had to pull off. To make it happen, Cobb pulls together resources and assembles the best team he can.

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REVIEW: ‘Predators’

Director:
Nimrod Antal
Cast:
Adrien Brody
Topher Grace
Alice Braga
Laurence Fishburne
Danny Trejo
Rated: R
Trailer

No Schwarzenegger, no problem.

“Predators,” starring Adrien Brody, starts off by dropping its lead characters right into the think of things. Brody’s character Royce, and a number of other criminals and mercenaries from across Earth, have landed in an unknown forest and quickly realize they’re being hunted for sport.

The group quickly realizes that they’re on another planet all together and must fight to survive and escape the other worldly game reserve.

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REVIEW: ‘Despicable Me’

Director:
Piere Coffin
Cast:
Steve Carell
Jason Segel
Russell Brand
Julie Andrews
Will Arnett
Rated: PG
Trailer

How despicable can a guy who takes in three orphans possibly be?

This movie follows a super villain who goes by the name Gru (Carell). He’s fairly famous in the villain world but has never pulled off the super heist of his dreams. For this reason, he decides to steal the entire moon.

In order to do so, he needs  a device that a rival villain has. In response, Gru decides to adopt three girls so he can use them to sell cookies to his rival and infiltrate the security systems.

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REVIEW: ‘The Last Airbender

Director:
M. Night Shyamalan
Cast:
Noah Ringer
Dev Patel
Nicola Peltz
Jackson Rathbone
Shaun Toub
Rated: PG

So this year’s Dragon Ball Evolution has shown up.

The story does take the basic premise of the animated series’ first season, setting up four nations of the world represented by people who can bend certain elements. These include water, earth, fire and air. The film takes place in the midst of a massive war with the Fire Nation seeking domination over the three others.

To combat the threat, people are hopeful that an Avatar, who can control all four elements, can return to bring peace. The movie picks up with two siblings from the Water Tribe who discover the latest Avatar, Aang (Ringer), who also happens to be the only remaining airbender. From there, the siblings decide to help Aang realize his destiny. However, they are constantly chased by the Fire Nation’s prince.

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REVIEW: ‘Jonah Hex’

Director:
Jimmy Hayward
Cast:
Josh Brolin
John Malkovich
Megan Fox
Rated: PG-13

Hey everybody! Do you want to see a “Western” even worse than Wild Wild West? Then do I have the movie for you.

The film follows the titular character, and if there’s no chance you’ll forget that name since the movie reminds the audience again and again. The movie opens with a misplaced animated sequence and follows that with introducing the villain Turnbell (Malkovich), who kill’s Hex’s (Brolin) wife and daughter while burning his face. Near death, Hex ends up being saved by a Native American tribe who rescues him, bringing him back from death which gives him supernatural powers.

After this, Hex becomes a bounty hunter and in the process, he is brought back into conflict with Turnbell. Turnbell plans to destroy the United States with a canon that shoots what look like Dragon Balls, for some reason. For this reason, the president orders Hex to save the U.S. from Turnbell.

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