Top 10 Worst Movies of 2013

10. 47 Ronin
Well, before coming to an end, 2013 just had to shove in one last bad movie. “47 Ronin” was a poor excuse for a fantasy samurai adventure movie. The acting was bland, the characters weren’t worth rooting for and the movie played itself way to seriously for taking a more fantasy approach to a really interesting Japanese legend. It’s a shame because the story the movie is based on could make for a great picture.

9. The Mortal Instruments
The first of two young adult series that will be on the worst list this year, “The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones” took elements from every other series it could get. This thing had demons, werewolfs, basically the whole nine yards. To top it off, it included un-compelling romantic drama and a generic plot twist. The worst offense of the movie, though, was that it was plain boring, the middle of the movie feels dragged out and the climax was nothing special.

8. Free Birds
“Frozen” and “Monsters University,” two completely different movies that do the same thing, they show how to make an animated movie right. “Free Birds” is a prime example of how to make an animated movie wrong. A story that felt random and not thought out, phoned in performances from the leads, unlikable characters, a lame villain and an unclear moral message. Earlier this year I saw “Epic,” “Turbo” and “Planes.” Those movies, while not good, at least seemed to have effort. I can’t say the same for “Freebirds.”

7. R.I.P.D.
OK, so the movie was a ripoff of “Men in Black,” I could live with that, I could have been fine with that. What I can’t be fine with is the actors providing no charm or real energy in their performances besides chewing scenery. I can’t be fine with characters that aren’t likable. And I really can’t be fine with a film whose extent of comedic wit is an old man controlling the body of a super model and a young man controlling the body of an old Chinese guy. To make matters worse, the story just seemed to make it up as it went along and the CGI was very poor.

6. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
OK, so the movie was a ripoff of “Men in Black,” I could live with that, I could have been fine with that. What I can’t be fine with is the actors providing no charm or real energy in their performances besides chewing scenery. I can’t be fine with characters that aren’t likable. And I really can’t be fine with a film whose extent of comedic wit is an old man controlling the body of a super model and a young man controlling the body of an old Chinese guy. To make matters worse, the story just seemed to make it up as it went along and the CGI was very poor.

5. Grown Ups 2
“Grown Ups 2” was not an attempt at making a good comedy movie. “Grown Ups 2” was an attempt to make some money. The movie has no plot, it has a premise, but it didn’t even bother with a plot. None of the comedy is clever, witty, or smart. There isn’t even good slapstick. Every “joke” in this picture simply goes for the lowest common denominator.

4. The Big Wedding
Like “Grown Ups 2,” “The Big Wedding” was another comedy that didn’t really try for anything smart. The comedy is simply too vulgar without having any amount of wit. Plus, the characters were so annoying in the movie that it made me want to pull my hair out at times. All together, the movie pales in comparison to other wedding centered comedies like “Father of the Bride” or “The Birdcage.”

3. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
A movie with Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi and Jim Carrey should, by all accounts, work and be funny. That didn’t happen with “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone.” The movie felt like it had a script that was sitting on the shelf for 10 years, taking on a subject that at this point seems pointless. The film has comedy that is so stale that it really becomes a waste of the comedic talents that are in the film. It was a chore to watch.

2. After Earth
“After Earth” is a film that had nothing to offer. It tries to be a sci-fi movie, but the sci-fi element felt worthless to the overall story the movie wanted to tell, the CGI was nothing special, and the film had an environmental message that was passed along with no subtlety. Worse than that, Jaden Smith was the character who the audience has to spend 95 percent of the film with and it makes the experience very taxing. Smith offers no likability or charm that his father brought to film roles earlier in his career. Speaking of Will, the older Smith was surprisingly dull in the picture.

1. Texas Chainsaw 3D
Teen slashers that come out in January. A person can practically expect them to be bad. However, I had a small glimmer of hope for this one. The original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is by far my favorite horror flick. Hearing that there would be a new TCM that would actually be a direct sequel made me a tiny bit excited. Little did I know that this movie would not only be terrible, but ruin the legacy of the original film, too.
At the very least, the 2003 remake was its own movie, it reinvented the character with a different take. What TCM 3D did was add on to the original story by coming up with one of the stupidest plots I’ve seen. On top of that, it throws in a twist at the end that makes a person want to bang their head against a wall.

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Author: Matthew Liedke

My name is Matthew Liedke. I'm a reporter for the Bemidji Pioneer in Minnesota, but I also have a passion for the art of film. This passion led me to start writing about film in 2008. From 2008-2016 I wrote pieces at my own website, After the Movie Reviews. Then, from 2016-May 2018, my write-ups were featured on AreaVoices, a blog network run by Forum Communications Company. Today, I now write film reviews and other pieces here on Word Press. More about me: I'm a 2012 graduate of Minnesota State University Moorhead where I studied journalism and film. Outside of film, I enjoy sports, video games, anime and craft beers.

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